Russell and Asia Nichols tied the knot on May 13, 2009, at an intimate beach wedding on Pigeon Island in St. Lucia.
They documented their First 100 days of marriage in two separate blogs His & Hers where they blogged about issues like 'Should a wife change her last name?', 'Does the lingerie disappear after the honeymoon?' , 'Is a husband wrong when he wants space? What about joint accounts?' and so much more.
In his 100th post Russell writes,".....We have been married for 100 days. I can't say what the next 100 days will look like, let alone the rest of our lives. I can't even say what tomorrow will hold, but know that I am holding onto your heart for dear life. I look forward to spending forever with you. I look forward to showing you love in ways you've never seen or felt. I look forward to becoming a better man with you, for you...."
We talk Asia Nichols, a full-time student in Sacramento, CA, studying Human Services, about their love story.
Meeting Russell
We met in high school. I was a sophomore, he was a junior. One day a friend handed me a letter and said someone wanted me to read it, but wouldn’t say who. My husband is a wordsmith, a journalist. I was hooked by the second line. After that, we started a relationship that lasted only six months; we were young. We ended up seeing each other for the first time in seven years at a gathering with a bunch of high school friends. Initially neither one of us was impressed, or so we say. But later that evening, we played and intense game of Connect Four (We’re both competitive). We decided to try love for a second time, and every step from that point led us to where we are now.
'The One'
It was a bit complicated knowing he was the man of my dreams. Sometimes I just knew without question; other times I prayed for a sign. Let’s just say I knew when he showed me that love is more than feelings. A true love experience is never one that feels good around the clock. When I was able to look the hard times in the face and say, “Is that all you’ve got?” is when I knew I was ready to go all the way.
Of Lessons
Marriage has taught me about teamwork. So much can be accomplished when we have an understanding of God’s marvelous design for married couples. I’ve learned the importance of working together in every aspect of our lives: physical, spiritual, financial, as well as career goals and life dreams. We put all our wants on the table and as a team we support and encourage one another.
Changes
Marriage has changed me in many ways. Each day is an opportunity to polish my character; these daily challenges have helped me develop as an individual and as a wife. I look back over our time together and can see progress I’ve made. That’s one thing I love about marriage: it stimulates personal growth.
The 'Spark'
We like to spark up our relationship by trying new things as often as we can. We’re both adventurous and open to new experiences, which makes it easier to find activities that we’ll both enjoy. Russell and I do things like zip lining, scuba diving, rope rappelling, and we’re also making plans to skydive some time soon. We play plenty of board games and make our own incentives. For us, the fun and excitement of a challenge is what keeps the spark in our marriage alive.
The one I was meant for
I believe that life is full of choices, and choosing a mate is one of them. We are all given a sea of options. No choice we make will be perfect; it just depends on which imperfections we prefer to deal with for the rest of our lives. That’s when the list comes in handy. Everyone should have a personal list of all the things that are absolutely necessary to them in a relationship. And in time, some items on the list can change—I know mine did. But the core values remain the same. So to answer the question, I believe we are given the freedom of choice to select our own soul mates.
A Good man
To me, a good man is a praying man; A man who has a genuine relationship with God will know how to love and care for his wife and family. Life won’t be easy all the time, but he knows this and asks for God’s wisdom, strength and direction. When a man accepts that he can do nothing in his own strength, a heavy burden lifts from his shoulders and he calls on The One who can. This is a valuable quality in a marriage.
Everybody 'Needs' Love
Women need alot in relationships but every woman is different. While I may desire more communication, someone else may need adventure. It depends on what she values most, and values change as we progress. In my marriage, communication was once a huge issue. I’m a talker and initially my husband was not. I often found myself having to guess my way through our relationship, which caused me to overload him with questions. It took me a while to realize that my constant digging only lessened my chances to hear his thoughts. For a while, we clashed in this area until we both discovered how to make our differences work for us.
We now have a little tool called compromise: He communicates more often, and as a result I have less to wonder about—and not always in that order. I may be first to stand down, giving him room to speak out on his terms. I’ve learned this to be a sure-shot way to satisfy my husband’s needs as well as my own.
Of Challenges; Ain't No Mountain High Enough
Probably the word itself. There are so many ideologies around marriage that we sometimes fall prey to them, putting a lot of pressure on the relationship. We shouldn’t have to worry about the “right time” to purchase a home or start a family, or having to always show up at events together because that’s what married people do. The most challenging part of marriage is all the societal expectations that accompany it.
Words of Advice
Be prepared. I highly recommend premarital counseling. We did it and learned a lot about our individual ideas on what a spouse should be. The sessions taught us to dig deeper and look at personal and family values. Those same values will surely take form in your marriage and you want to be sure that the two of you are on the same page. Most importantly, make your own traditions. The best gift that Russell and I give each other is a personalized relationship, one not bound by the restraints of conventional beliefs. Do what works for the two of you and enjoy a custom-made life.
Are you married, do you want to share your love story? Send us an email @ and we can feature you in this segment.
They say, girlfriends are the people you can share your secrets with, cry with, laugh with, and just be yourself with. They don't judge you or make you change. They accept you exactly as you are. They look at you and they see a great person, one they love spending time with. You all share something in common and are tied together by memories, tears, laughs & smiles. You're tied together by love for the other. Men come and go but my girlfriends are eternal,they are my heart, my soul, my fun, my laughter, my tears, my love and my life" ~ Unknown