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I had a conversation with a friend recently, and the topic happened to be about love, relationships, and infidelity within those relationships. My friend said that she took the liberty to ask a male friend of hers “What does it take for a man to not cheat on a woman?” and this friend of hers stated, “A man has to love her more than he loves himself.” Those were very powerful words, which led me to my topic. Not so much about infidelity per say, but more so about selfless and unconditional love. This is a love that we need to have with every relationship that we involve ourselves in. Whether it’s an intimate relationship or a friendship.
Sometimes people tend to misconstrue the meaning of unconditional love. Unconditional love is a selfless type of love. In order to love someone unconditionally, you must love him or her more or equal to the amount of love that you have for your self. Unconditional love is the exact same type of love that you have for your own children. You love then when they are right and most importantly you love then even when they are in the wrong. Having unconditional love does not mean that you have to “like” or “agree” with everything that a person does because no one person is perfect. In fact loving someone unconditionally means that you love him or her through those imperfections.
As women, we love extremely hard and we expect for that love to be reciprocated. What do we do once we realize that we love much harder without receiving the same? The first thing that comes out of our mouth is “I love myself more.” This is acceptable because you positively must love yourself enough to walk away from a situation that isn’t healthy for you. However, that doesn’t mean that you have to go back to loving selfishly. I learned, in a very powerful bible class that selfless and unconditionally love allows you to establish an unconditional relationship with other people. Once that is established it enables you to encourage others even when you are disappointed. We immediately want to protect those people that we love. Loving unconditionally and selflessly also encourages us to change some things about ourselves for the sake of that love.
The point of this article is that love does not stop at affection. It goes way beyond receiving and reciprocating affection. It goes beyond being smitten and feeling like life is completely golden for the moment. When things don’t look so great and the going gets tough, you have to possess a love that is so unconditional that it can withstand many adversities. Not only that, but loving selflessly and unconditionally creates an unbreakable bond between two people. It shows that you can be counted on and that you truly understand what it takes in order to love. Unconditional and selfless love is inspiring.
“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” Phil 2:3-4
Ms Jazmin is a talented writer who self-published her own book, Journey to My Identity. The book is a collection of poems that highlight her most profound thoughts. Jazmin has Bachelor of Arts degree in Sociology and is seeking to get her Masters in Social Work. She hopes to one day be able to start her own non-profit organization for teen girls that incorporates creative and performing arts as well as mentoring, tutoring, and empowerment seminars.