AfroElle: Featured Couple; Sean and Faith

Featured Couple; Sean and Faith

Posted by AfroElle On 9:17 PM

Sean and Faith met in college, they had been introduced to each other by Faith’s best friend who happened to be dating Sean’s friend at the time. Faith admits that it wasn’t love at first sight; her first impression of Sean was that he was a bit obnoxious. “I had seen him around campus and he definitely was not my type. He tried to talk with me because he liked me but I did not give him the time of day. I would see him around campus after our initial meeting but I always pretended I didn't see him.” Faith says.

“About 3 years after college, Myspace was a huge hit. I was on that friend's boyfriend's friend list {the ones who introduced us} and Sean saw me and asked his friend if he thought I would talk to him. He told Sean that he didn't think I would since I didn't give him the time of day in college. Sean sent me a message and I soon found out that Sean had just moved into the area that I just moved to. It was exciting to talk to someone who went to the same college as I. We began to message each other every single day for one month. About a month into "meeting" again we decided to catch a movie together and as they say, the rest was history.”

Fast forward to present day; the couple has been together for a total of 4 years and 2 months; 1 year and almost 5 months of which they have spent married to each other.

How did you know that Sean was the 'one'?

Marsha Marsha Marshmallows! It’s a long story. I like chocolate a lot more than my figure wants me to. A few years back I discovered Ben & Jerry ice cream “Marsha Marsha Marshmallow”. When I tasted it I fell in love with it, it was the best ice cream I had ever tasted and I finished it in one setting.

After that first taste I bought the ice cream all the time so imagine the hurt I felt when I went to the supermarket one day and my ice cream was not there. I went to several other supermarkets but nothing.

I had been dating the hubs for 6 months and he knew how much I loved that ice cream. One day I went over to his apartment and we were watching movies. Sean asked me to go to the freezer to get ice cubes, inside the freezer was a Ben & Jerry’s ice cream called Smores. I love Smores! Seam had found something to replace my old love. Smores tasted exactly like Marsha Marsha Marshmallows. After I finished Sean explained that he had contacted Ben & Jerry and that they had advised him that they did not stop production of Marsha Marsha Marshmallows but instead given it a new name Smores!

That day, I fell in love with him. That day, I knew he was The One. He found my ice cream and I found my true love.

What do you love about your husband?

He is generous, selfless, honest, hardworking, trustworthy, respectful, Godfearing and kind. He is honestly the most amazing person I know. I don't know what I would do without him. He makes me feel like I have done something right in this world to be able to spend the rest of my life with him.

What part of marriage do you love the most and why?

I love being able to have a family of my own. I love that at any time of the day I can call him and he will either be able to make me laugh, allow me to vent, console me if I am having a bad day or just stay on the phone with me even if I have absolutely nothing to talk about. I love having someone to share my life with and knowing that I am their person. That no matter what, we have each other and that is all that really matters.

How do you resolve conflicts and what helps you love each other when you are mad at your spouse?

We let it out. We don't keep anything inside. If I am upset about something, I let him know right away and vice versa. I think it is the best thing because more than anything I hate when you are having a fight and that person brings up something from the past that has nothing to do with the current argument. That should have been resolved before this fight. I think it is very important not to tippy toe around issues because one day it can become a bigger problem that the both of you are unable to handle.

I love him, even when we are fighting. Sometimes Sean thinks that if we are fighting he has to walk into another room. Nope, I want him to stay there. Regardless of how angry I am at him, I still want to see him. I don't think it is healthy to walk away from a argument. He is learning that too. Get it out, kiss and make up and go forward. Don't ever go to bed without an argument/disagreement being resolved. We never go to bed without saying, I love you.

How do you make your marriage work despite all the negativity towards the institutions , fears and challenges?

We just do. We complement each other. Everything I am not, Sean is and vice versa. We have learned to listen to each other. We don't ever brush off the other's opinion. We have learned to believe this statement "Let's agree to disagree". I know it can be quite an annoying statement but it has worked in this house. If you can't agree to disagree you will be arguing a lot more when you should love each other. We just remember that just because we are married doesn't mean that we are the same person. We have different opinons and different thoughts. We have learned that in order to make a marriage work you have to accept that and realize you didn't marry yourself, you married another person.

What is the best advice you received before you got married, that helped you through rough times or helped you prevent rough times?

We were told that one day the passion would fade, the looks would fade you have to love each other enough that when those things are gone, you still love each other even more. It just put things in perspective for us. We came to the realization that we are in this marriage for the long haul.

Another thing we were told, is that if this person never changed and stayed the exact way would you be OK with that 10 years down the line? This is such a big deal! There are so many people who get married to people that they know aren't the people they want to be with forever. If you have doubts right now those doubts will only grow as the time goes on.

It was a great thing to think about and we both realized that although we both have our faults, the faults did not overshadow the merits.

What steps do you take to make the marriage feel "alive" or "new" each day?

We go to the gym together. Seriously, it is an exciting thing to work out together. Because not only are you aiming to look good together but it is another thing you get to share with each other. You can have the best discussions on the treadmill together! We text each other every day; Cute, sexy, sweet texts throughout the day. It is so nice to start the morning with a sweet text from your husband!

What advice would you give you’d like to give any newlywed or a single woman hoping to get married some day?

I would say never settle. You can't settle. We only have one life to live. Be sure that you are living it with someone that you can't love without. This person that you decide to give your heart to has to be a person who you know would never purposely hurt you. If you have doubts, there is a reason for it. Trust your instincts; trust your mind over your heart.

Also remember, that this isn't just your life anymore. It is two of you now. Whatever decisions you make will now affect another person. Love this person; never take this person for granted. You do all these things and that rocking marriage you want, you will have! Marriage is an amazing journey and every day I thank God that I am able to be on this journey.

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