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So, you and your honey have just celebrated your one year wedding anniversary and you’re still trying to get used to this marriage thing. When you were sitting around daydreaming of your wedding and subsequent married life, you wish somebody would have told you that:
After “I do!” the real work begins:
Merging two lives is no small feat. Both of you bring into the relationship different perspectives on life. Regardless of how long you’ve known each other, you’re still two very different people with your own opinions, expectations and preferences. If you’re not committed to finding the groove that works for both of you, you may begin to feel uncertain about your future together. The key is in seeking to understand your spouse’s viewpoint, clearly expressing yours and agreeing to meet in the middle…easier said than done.
Compromising ain’t easy:
Just because it is necessary to compromise, doesn’t mean it’s easy. Oftentimes, you may feel very strongly about your position and may even know that you’re right, but you have to ask yourself the question, “Do I want to win this battle but lose my marriage?” True victory comes in making small concessions that will, ultimately, get you what you both want. It takes patience and good communication skills to master the art of compromise. Let’s be honest, getting your way is not true victory. Having your spouse honor and support your decisions because they know that you will do the same for them, now, that’s real victory.
“Just the two of us” may not be all it’s cracked up to be:
Somewhere in our marriage-prep, we got the notion that, as long as we have our husband, we won’t need anyone else. Can I let you in on a secret? That is simply not true. Your spouse should complement your life, not dominate it. Now, before you throw bricks at me, here me out. You and your mate should come into the union as whole, healthy individuals with diverse interests. Together, you should enjoy one another, but not expect the other person to be your “everything.” At the end of the day, you should have something interesting to present to each other that you garnered from other activities and other people. You are to enhance each other and that enhancement comes from getting out and relating to the rest of the world. Not being diversified in your interest, leads to dissatisfaction amongst both parties. So, allow him time for sports while you hang out with your girls every now and then, and then come together and make sparks fly!
The reality is that marriage is a lot of work, but it is so worth the effort that you put into it. Your relationship will not self-maintain, so you will have to commit to investing in it on a daily basis. But when you do, you get into a “sweet spot” that trumps any fairy tale or romance novel. Now, that’s what they should’ve told you!
Gifted to inspire, Tangie Henry has spent years encouraging others to rise above their circumstances and soar to new heights. As a Registered Nurse and Certified Life Coach, Tangie has an opportunity to “minister” to all types of women at times of great vulnerability. She has a heart for women who are broken and bruised and those challenged by life’s obstacles. Offering Inspiration with a Flair, anyone needing a little motivation is inspired by her to move past their setbacks and go to the next level. Using her life experiences, a little sistah savvy and a lot of Godly wisdom, Tangie encourages women to be their better selves. She is the founder of InspiredSistah LLC, a faith-based company dedicated to “Inspiring Women to Live on Top of the World.” Tangie currently lives in the metro Atlanta area with her husband, Jessie. She is available for workshops or speaking engagements catering to the needs of women. For general inquiries or booking information, visit her online at www.InspiredSistah.com
Great article! Well written & it's a great read!!!! I'm going to mention this on my Twitter account (@MaryKayAllie)!